Forty-five Valentine’s Days

Dear County Agent Guy:

A crucial national holiday is looming on the horizon. Ignoring this holiday could imperil your current and future happiness, especially if you’re a guy.

Valentine’s Day is a boon for the greeting card, floral, and jewelry industries. Sales could be tripled if their stores’ sound systems played “Mandy” by Barry Manilow on a continuous loop. One guy, after hearing that sap-drenched song for the first…